From religious to secular

Sitting in the pew she listened keenly to the sermon that was being preached. Some of her closest friends were there as well as people she’d known for years. The sermon was about homosexuality, how it was wrong and how homosexuals were disgusting. This was one of the defining moments for Rochelle Niles.

“That really hit me hard because a lot of my best friends are homosexuals and that really hurt me,” Niles says. “I don’t think they’re disgusting - I love them. There’s nothing wrong with them.”

She had to choose whether to continue following the Christian faith or follow her own beliefs.

Niles, 23, lives in Toronto and was raised in a Christian family. Since she was a toddler she attended church occasionally but got fully involved at 14. She attended the Church of God International on Saturdays with her sister, mother and grandmother. She recalls being so committed that she couldn’t get a part-time job because she worshipped on Saturdays and wasn’t available to work. Niles often disputed how other people didn’t believe there was a God and she thought they were wrong.

As she grew older, she started to question the principles she was told to accept as the truth. Entering high school and becoming more exposed to various people who have different beliefs and lifestyles had an impact on her.

Joel Thiessen, based in Calgary, author of The Meaning of Sunday: The Practice of Belief in a Secular Age, says that life changes play a major role in millennials leaving their religion.

“It sometimes has to do with life transitions,” Thiessen says. “They grow up at home and then leave that city to go to university. They don’t have the same routine, friends and social outlets. Sometimes transitions can break that flow of following a religion.”

According to an Angus Reid survey, one in four Canadians are now more likely to reject religion. The study showed that 26% of Canadians who say no to religion has grown over the decades. Because Canada is highly liberal and inclusive, Thiessen added, it is much easier for millennials to question why they might feel restricted in their religion.

"The beliefs, practices and tenets that they find in a religious group are far too restrictive. Any time you have a group that's perceived as exclusive, that cultural context and environment makes millennials leave,” he says.

Niles certainly remembers how constricted she felt when she was following Christianity. She was always worried about fitting in or doing something wrong .

“I used to feel guilty doing anything while I was in church,” she says. “I think I was really sheltered and there was a lot I couldn’t do.”

Andrew McMaster,22, lives in Toronto he was raised in the Roman Catholic church. He also attended a public Catholic high school. He realized that he wanted to leave the church when he was 15. A video from the internet solidified his doubts about religion.

“There is this video on Youtube, the guy says ‘you pray to a milk jug and the answer is always yes, no or maybe’...That did it for me- I realized that there was no difference,” he says.

When Niles finally stopped going to church, at the age of 18, she felt guilty, but soon realized that she had made the right decision for herself.

“I’ve done so many things that I thought I’d never do and I’m happy that I’ve done them for the experience,” she says.

Recently she went to a four-day music festival - something she would’ve never done if she was still involved in the church. While she had the support from her mother and sister, her only concern was her grandmother. She was afraid her grandmother might have been hurt that she left and she was for a while. Her grandmother is the only one who still goes to church.

With her new social life, she’s able to enjoy life more on her own terms. Eric Thomas, president of Humanist Canada, says that one of the principles of humanism is respect for people to make their own choices, which is why millennials tend to gravitate towards the humanist ideology.

“There’s no demand for membership and there’s no book to memorize. There’s just open-minded, practical thoughts,” Thomas says.

Niles believes that religion should be inclined to accept everyone, because everyone is different. She sees the church as an organization that is created to help people believe in something. She now identifies as an agnostic.

“I’m not saying there isn’t anything that’s higher than us, but I don’t believe in the gods that I’ve heard of. I feel like they’re stories and myths to help people - like it’s therapeutic ,” she says.

Because millennials are questioning the core aspects of their belief systems, there is an increase in secularism, Thomas says.

“The beliefs and trappings of religion tend to be difficult to believe. The belief of a higher power is hard to believe because there is no proof for such a thing,” he says.

McMaster agreed to this and cited it as the reason he became an atheist.

“Even if I wanted there to be a God I couldn’t convince myself...it’s silly to put stock into one specific thing like that,” he says. “Is the idea of God fallible? Can I poke holes into that? And I found that I could.”

Meanwhile, Niles thinks that even if she belonged to a different religion or denomination she would still have doubts as she doesn’t see herself following any religion.

McMaster says that he is happy with his lifestyle and freedom to enjoy the world.

“I can enjoy all the natural things in the world,” he says. “Humanities that religion may have something against.”